One day, some horrible people spread rumors about me talking rude things about the girl I had a crush on. Later that day I called her to set things straight because she had believed the rumors. The next day I felt bad about all this thing that had happened (as of I were guilty of provoking the problem) so I decided that the first things I would do that day was hug her when she arrived to school so I could make her feel better. When I saw her, I just managed to pull some confidence out of nowhere and went to hug her. When I hugged her and apologized for all the mess (even though it wasn’t my fault), she just said “I don’t get why you’re hugging me” and walked away. All I wanted was to make my friend feel better but she just walked away. After all the hours I spent deciding whether to hug her or not….
Something broke inside me
I told her I wanted to be her friend. She heard that I supposedly had a crush on her. She called me to tell me that she was not my type and I was not her type either. I said it was ok, but deep inside it hurt, and it hurt like hell for I really wanted to be her friend. Because I loved her.
It was more than a crush. It was different, it was something else. At the beginning of the year I was drowning in a serious state of depression. When she came into my life, she was like a ray of sunlight that guided my through the shadows to the end of the tunnel. For the last three months, the first thought that would pop into my head in the morning was “how can I make her happy today?”. Sitting next to her and listening to what she had to say was all I need to call it a perfect day. I might just have been the guy who talked about the randomest things. But for me, oh she was my rock, she kept me anchored in the middle of the furious waters of my emotional torment. She was everything to me. She meant a lot to me because it was the first girl with whom I had the courage to establish a friendship. I opened up to her. I would’ve done anything, anything for her. Too bad she didn’t feel the same way. The more I wanted to know about her, the more she hid behind her walls. What made me sad the most was that there where times when she obviously needed support and I was always there, ready to make her feel like the happiest girl in the world. But she didn’t look for a friend in me. She just closed up. I would’ve loved to have the opportunity to be the person that comforted her when she most needed to be comforted. I would’ve loved to be the guy who would’ve catch her if she fell. I would’ve loved to share many great moments with her, would’ve loved to make her feel like the world was hers. Oh how I wished to hold her in my arms and make her feel loved. But she didn’t let me. It is hard to think that while I’m sitting here crying and writing about my miserable days, she is not even thinking about me. Oh, how I wish you would’ve let me love you.
I don’t know what it was. It wasn’t just a crush. It was different. I would’ve taken a bullet for her. For the past couple of months I woke up and my first thought every morning was “how can I make her happy today?”. Before I began talking to her I was submerged in a serious state of depression. She came like a ray of sunlight, lighting my path through the shadows, guiding me to the end of the tunnel of my depression. Sitting next to her and listening to what she had to say was all I need to call it a perfect dat. For her, I might just have been the guy who sat next to her and talked about the randomest things. But for me, oh she was my rock who held me anchored in the middle of the furious waters of my emotional torment. And she didn’t even know it.
Augusten Burroughs (via ohhhkat)
There is no shame…..but boy it hurts when the other person doesn’t feel the same way
LIKING SOMEONE IS SO STRESSFUL
No need to tell me
Let me tell you a story. There’s a girl I have a crush on. In July I began talking to her and it went great. Two weeks after I began talking to her she began dating with another guy. I kept talking to her as her friend for three months. This past friday she broke up with her boyfriend and I spend the whole weekend cheering her up and everything. And now I see that she wants to get back with an ex-boyfriend that cheated on her last year. It is frustrating for me because I’ve been doing everything right and as soon as she breaks up with her current boyfriend she decides to jump back to another cheater ex-boyfriend. You might think this is a classic friendzone situtation. It is worse than that. I’ve kind of accepted that I’m stuck in the friendzone so I try to be the best friend I can be to her. But the thing is that after a lot of time I’ve spent with her she still doesn’t trust me, and I’ve seen people that come outta nowhere and gain her trust instantly. I can’t figure out why she doesn’t trust me, I’m a very trustworthy person and all the people I know (except her apparently) know that. It is so frustrating. I’m wasting my life for the wrong person.